loudbuzz sounding off

Posted by Steve @ 4:10 am on April 23rd 2008

Then and now

I was in an airport, talking to you on the phone…

when I saw someone…

a woman that looked so much like someone else that I once had feelings for.

I was shocked at the similarity.

I was stupefied by my own emotions:

a small hurt, a small ache, a small dissatisfaction.

Silly as it sounds,

I felt rejected…like I felt before…

many many many months ago.

And then I felt foolish…

ashamed of myself…

and all from seeing this person

that was not this other person at all.

This other person, that I could never please, but desired to…

this other person that made me feel so weak, used…and finally despised…

and I started to feel my own disparity…

I actually felt anxiety!!!

But, on the phone, you were there with me at the same time.

And you said you loved me, cherished me, adored me…

I heard you.

I looked away.

And I realized who I was then, and now.

And I was sooooooooo glad.

Nothing to be anxious about with you, my love!